Things you don't want to do

For a moment, pretend you're at home. Your spouse / significant other / cat has given you permission to run amok and tackle any project you desire.

What do you do first?

Tackle that re-grouting in the bathroom?

Scrape, sand and refinish the hardwoods by hand? With no gloves?

Build a skyscraper from the ground up with lawn clippings?

Allow me to tell you, any of those are preferable to refinishing your kitchen cabinets.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO REFINISH YOUR CABINETS!

Now, don't tell me 'Oh, no, I really DO want to refinish them'.

I assure you, you do not.  What you want is to have your cabinets refinished, right? You're not really WANTING to do that. You want it done.

HUGE DIFFERENCE!



I was not wise enough to recognize the significance in the order of the words. My kitchen cabinets needed an overhaul, I wanted it done. That was as far as I got in my reckoning. OldMan on the other hand, knew exactly what precise vocabulary to use to ensure he wasn't paying someone to come in and do it for me.

Dick.

So, being a go-getter (believe it or not) I jumped right in and ripped the damn doors right the fuck off the cabinets! WOOO! LovelyGirl and I spent an afternoon prying the trim off with screwdrivers and pliers while shouting obscenities at a marathon viewing of The Twilight Saga.

Don't judge. It was on and we didn't have to pay much attention to it while we were working.

At that point, I stalled. I looked at them, did the research required to make sure I wasn't about to booger the stupid things up to hell and gone, and then tried to get out of it. This is where OldMan came in and laughed and told me to get it done.

Shit.

So, I have spent a great portion of my life recently in the garage with all manner of torturous implements trying to make the stupid cabinet doors ready for painting. Sanders, air compressors, chisels, something that looks like a bone saw, ugly (albeit necessary) safety goggles, more wood putty than should be required for doors this size and some primer that tried to kill me.

Literally. I wasn't paying attention to the fact that the garage door was closed while I was painting and it wasn't until I almost keeled over that I realized I was pretty high. Yeah. Go team.

There are pictures.
I'll show you later.
Maybe. If I get to it. There's lunch to be had, people!